Run

Run #20 – November 9^th – The Clermont Le Fort Run

Hares: Wallaby's Lover & down Under

We arrived at the On-On with a sense of trepidation. The directions had been sparse but accurate: ‘Drive to Clermont Le Fort – Park.’ and there was a feeling that the markings could be just as sparse. This feeling increased as we found that the hares were still out marking the course. However, they returned at about 14:50, coming from different directions – but apparently that was planned.
GM, Crafty Linguist, and Hash Cash, Mountain Goat, had recently returned from an intensive week of fund embezzlement, and so were a little delicate. The non-stop Karaoke had taken its inevitable toll on our GM, and as such he had no voice with which to lead the proceedings (hidden blessing?!)

QuickSand (QS) stepped once more into the breach (dear friends) and called the Pack to order. After the initial welcome, he handed over to Coffee Bean for her traditionally cryptic description of the trail markings, before then giving up and letting the hares, Wallaby’s Lover and Down Under, do all the explanations. As always there was a long and a short course, and apparently 9 kilos of flour had gone into the markings! Thus, we deduced, the courses were either very well marked or very long. Either way, QS gave the off with a blast from his dilapidated horn, and the pack ambled up a hill to where we were told the markings started. This was obviously a test of Newtonian physics, which were once again confirmed – what goes up does indeed come down again. We were soon running down a very steep mud path, busily shouting ‘On-On’ at all the marks, and occasionally repeating the Latin names which hung from the trees we passed (oh the beauty of the betula pendula). Hills proved to be the order of the day, and we were soon going o’er hill and dale as we followed the flour. Markings were sparse but effective, and occasionally very devious. Several Checks kept the FRB’s confused for many minutes (not that difficult really), and it was a good hour before we arrive back at the On-In. Looking back over the course, spread out around us on the hillsides there could be seen the white T-shirts of various hashers looking like forlorn, asthmatic sheep. It took about 40 minutes before the last one returned to the fold.

The dulcet Dutch tones of QS called for the Pack to form the Circle, and the pack responded with an excellent attempt to break its own personal best of 3 minutes 15 seconds (missing only by 25s!) First Down Downs (DD’s) went, as always, to the Hares, Wallaby’s Lover and Down Under. After receiving a very creditable 95% approval for both courses, they were duly DD’d. Next up were punishment DD’s for Coffee Bean and Beaver Chops for violation of one of the many Hash rules by not wearing a Hash T-shirt. Their protestations fell on deaf ears, and the DD’s were given. Drunk with the power of being (an albeit temporary) GM, QS called forward, in quick succession, the Virgins (2) and the returnees (2) for their DD’s, before rounding on Crafty Linguist and Mountain Goat for once again abandoning their flock in order to pursue their hedonistic lifestyle using Hash funds. Once they had been DD’d, Lapdancer was called into the centre. Lapdancer is our Webhacker, and is responsible for the upkeep of our website – ensuring that not only is it state-of-the-art, but that it is pleasing to the eye and aesthetically coordinated. Why then, asked QS, did we have a pink and purple colour scheme? Offering no excuses (for what excuse could there be?) Lapdancer was DD’d.

Do It Yourself (DIY) then asked permission to speak, which QS gave with trepidation. DIY asked the general question of what QS’s position was in the Mis-Management, and was informed that he was Song Meister. How then did we have a Song Meister who did not know the words to the Down-Down Song? ‘It’s a fair cop’ was QS’s confession, as he stepped forward to be DD’d.

The final DD of the day was given for a christening. No 1 Funch, head of the Funch Bunch, Fleming had notched up 5 runs, and, as such, was entitled to be christened. A variety of names were proposed, after much encouragement, but the one that stuck was Pink Phlegm, in acknowledgement of his name and his rather natty cravat, and so Pink Phlegm he was christened. Before the Circle was called to a close, all the ankle biters were herded into the centre for a chocolate DD, given for them being ankle biters! QS then closed the Circle and handed over to acting RA, DIY for his brutalisation of the Hash Hymn. Verses one and three were singled out, with verse three being done at double time.

Great run

On-On

Do It Yourself