For once, we were blessed with accurate directions to the On-On – literally detailed to the last metre. If the hares put as much effort into marking the run as they did for the directions, we were in for a great run. Hares for the day were Up All Night and Wandering Two-Lips (WTL) both seasoned Hashers, wise in the mystic art of Haring. So much effort and coordination had gone into this run that it was all marked out hours before the off, and so the hares had retired ‘chez WTL’ for a pleasant meal and a few bottles of ‘libation’. Thus the Hares were nicely ‘warmed up!’ The weather was clear, but blowing at about Force 8.

GM, Crafty Linguist (CL), had regained his voice, and put it to good use calling the pack to order. After a brief description of the markings for the virgins, CL handed over to the Hares for their pre-run brief. Pretty much a bog-standard run, the only point of note being that they had used chalk as well as flour for some of the markings, as the wind was strong enough to obliterate the markings. Sufficiently reassured by this, Quicksand (QS) gave the off, blowing a blast on his hastily fixed horn.

The Pack headed off along a road for a bit, before heading into woodland. Here the trails split, and we ran off, ever deeper into the woods. After a distance we reached another runners/walkers split, and as obedient little Hashers we followed the appropriate route. After 20m we reached an X, and so spread out to find the ‘one true route’. After 20 minutes of searching we gave up and headed off on the walker’s route. Thereafter the trail was fairly well marked, and uneventful apart from a couple of suicidally huge hills, and another lapse of markings on a building site.

Back at the coolers, QS had given a slightly antipodean theme to the On-In by flying the Hash flag upside down, but hastily corrected this when reminded of who won the Rugby World Cup (i.e. England)! The test of a good run is if the runners and walkers arrive at the On-In at roughly the same time, and this was the case today. As always there tends to be an exception, and in this case it was Bearded Clam who arrived back a full 30 minutes behind everyone else (having to be located by QS and Do It Yourself (DIY)). However, once we were all present, correct and refreshed, CL called the Circle.

First up for the Down-Downs were Hares Up All Night and Wandering Two Lips, who were severely penalised for improper weather and over- sized hills. As we started to sing the DD song, BeaverChops raised an objection – ‘This is the song used by England Rugby fans to support the Rugby World Cup winners – it has no place in the Hash’. ‘Nonsense’ was the response ‘that’s Swing-Low Sweet Chariot’ and BeaverChops was instructed to be quiet for the rest of the Circle. Then the phalanx of sugar-crazed anklebiters were called for their chocolate DD’s, which they finished before we had even got to the second line of the DD song. Next up for DD’s were the Virgins (9) a good mixture of French and expats. Apparently we hadn’t really explained how a DD works, as orders were placed for Cognac etc, and the French contingent were still sipping their beer and making polite conversation long after we had run out of song. Maybe we need diagrams?

Then came the punishment DD’s. First up was Hello Kitty, who committed the heinous sin of not responding to an ‘Are You’ call, even though it was given twice. For such a cardinal sin there could be only one fate – the Mother Clucker, our plasticised poultry. Hello Kitty was asked to kneel on the ground and ‘choke the chicken’ while it was charged with a full measure of beer. With the cock firmly gasped in his hand, Hello Kitty managed to DD most of the torrent of beer that poured from its beak. That will teach him! Next up, on the punishment list were the SCB’s (Short Cutting Persons), and this week there were two culprits – QS, the habitual re-offender, and Coffee Bean. Coffee Bean must have been in secret training for this, as she had finished her DD and was walking away before QS was even halfway through his. Further punishment DD’s were awarded to all the English, for their gall to win the Rugby World Cup (did I mention that already?) and also Hashers wearing inappropriate clothing (mostly England Rugby shirts!)

Then, before the Circle was called to an end, Husker stepped up to try and teach the Hash a new song (a feat that has long eluded our SongMeister, QS). Song sheets were handed out, backing tracks were blasted out on a ‘My Little Tape Recorder’ and an attempt was made. After consideration, the verdict of ‘Never use this song again’ was given by CL. CL then called on DIY to end the day with verses one and two of ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariots’ which is also, as BeaverChops pointed out, the anthem of the England Rugby Team, who happen to be World Champions (Hurrah!). Great run