5.30pm. As the temperature finally sank below 30°C a small group of profusely perspiring hashers could be seen gathering outside The London Town in the corner of Place des Calmes – the meeting point for Run #12. Hares for the run were Beaver Chops, Wandering Two Lips and Whistling Tulips who, in the true spirit of adventure, had decided that this run would be a live hare run. The requested head start of 15 minutes was haggled down to 10 minutes and, slightly after 6pm, a brief briefing was given before Beaver Chops and Wandering Two Lips hared off. At 6.15pm the smallest pack yet (6 runners and 3 walkers) set off to try and catch the hares. Markings were good and after just 300 meters we encountered the first ‘wine stop’. The pack regrouped and spent a pleasant 10 minutes chatting and hoping that we had already reached the mid-point of the run. Once the chase restarted, it soon became apparent that we hadn’t! Somewhere along the Garonne the hares split – Beaver Chops marking the runner’s course and Wandering Two Lips the walker’s course. The runner’s course was enjoyable and deviously marked, with small spots of flour being hidden behind lampposts, trees and, on one occasion, under a dog! After a while it merged with Wandering Two Lips’ course, and then we were really ‘taken around the houses’. Wandering Two Lips obviously harbours a secret fantasy of being a tour guide as, amongst the dashes of chalk which marked the route, were arrows pointing out various beauty spots, hidden courtyards and, bizarrely, cat houses?! Through careful planning, the pack arrived at the On In (The London Town) five minutes after the start of happy hour. The hares were nowhere to be seen – it turns out that they were more intent on tarting themselves up than on concentrating on the more important business of arranging refreshments. Crafty Linguist and Mountain Goat saved the day and the pack were soon busy replacing lost fluids. The circle was then called by GM Crafty Linguist who started off by awarding the hares their down-downs. A vote was called and the run was awarded a 95% approval rate. As there were no virgin hashers, next up were the hashers due for Christening. Up stepped Alan Hermitage and his girlfriend, Christelle Cornevin. Alan, because of his current job as a cleaner, was labelled ‘Scrubber’. Christelle’s name posed more of a problem. She works as a travel agent and after a multitude of possible names it looked set that she was to be christened ‘Easy Jet’. However Scrubber, with no thought of future domestic bliss, provided her with her true name, and so ‘Easy Virgin’ she became. Up next was H3-de-l’eau who was DD’d for failing to mark the true path on a Check. He was then DD’d again for requesting a new name as he was dissatisfied with H3-de-l’eau and had even forgotten it! Following a discussion to find a new and equally undesirable name, a vote of clemency was given, and H3-de-l’eau was rechristened ‘Pink Helmet’ after the red chalk marks on his hat, and then DD’d accordingly. Once all DD’s were done, Crafty Linguist gave a brief rundown of next week’s AGM, and asked for volunteers/suckers to fill the existing posts as well as the following new ones: Hash Tool (general dogs-body), Spare Hare (has a run ready), Re-Hash (recycles empties), Trans-Hash (translates the occasional Hash Trash) and Chief Snitch (rats on wrong doers). With all formalities dealt with, and in the absence of B.J. the Religious Advisor, Crafty Linguist called on Do-It-Yourself to lead the Hash Hymn. After selecting verses 1 and 3 for ritual abuse, Do-It-Yourself threw himself into the task with a gusto that can only be allowed on an adults-only run. As their final duty, the hares had organised an excellent On-On-On at a local restaurant ‘Chez Fazoul’ – good job, and good run. On On Do It Yourself