The temperature was fortunately down to a reasonable level when the pack gathered near the bandstand at the Grand Rond for a (family) city run. Due to the absence of both the G.M. and the R.A., hares DIY and Scrubber explained the markings to all and advised that the walker’s route was about 6 km and would take about 1 hour. The runners route some 12 km or about 1 hour and a bit. The two routes would converge at a pub stop from where it would be only a short distance back to the On-In. It sounded great and stupidly enough we all believed them and set off enthusiastically. I shared the runner’s route with Beaver Chops, Wandering Two-Lips and Lapdancer. The zigzag course through a maze of narrow street in the St Etienne district can only be remembered for its pathetic markings: under parked cars, behind bollards and in crevasses of buildings. A large amount of flour in front of a shop (boulangerie!) made us rush off in the wrong direction once and lots of wrong turns were made and eventually we lost track completely at Pont Neuf. We decided to cross the Garonne and then to cross back over Pont St.Michel to try and recover the lost track. Yours truly committed the mortal sin of not checking for Hash marks at the other side of the road before re-crossing and yes, once at the other side the markings reappeared sending us back over the same bridge. After some peaceful jogging alongside persons long deceased we re-crossed the Garonne over the bridges at the football stadium. Four river crossings within 30 mins! By now a certain discontent with the hares set in. Kneecapping and murder was never far from my mind. By mistaking white plaster for flour we, again, lost track. However, the "Dublinners" was found quickly without the aid of HHH markings. The waiting hares were, by this time, well watered ("from desperation and worry"), and advised that none of the walkers had yet appeared. Having promised pub management a "standing room only" scene they now also had a little difficulty in being taken seriously by the landlady. Once watered, we were then ready for the last 2km stretch to the On-In. Wandering TwoLips still managed to give an outstanding impression of a FRB (so he could take a photo from the front, which he forgot) and raced into the On-In car park to the statue of some poor creature dragging a python behind him. Well into our third beer (Lapdancer had the keys to the Beer-truck!), DIY came panting into the car park advising that an angry pack of walkers, having missed the beer-stop, was on its way to the On-In and that he urgently had to leave for a meeting he had completely forgotten about. Frantic negotiations with the arriving walkers prevented an all out lynching and the circle was quickly called to prevent accidents. In absence of the G.M. I showed everyone how NOT to conduct a circle but managed to get three down-downs for the hares in quick succession for a good but lousily marked run, for an abysmal walkers route and for just being the hares, with a fourth for Scrubber for talking within the circle. Four virgin-hashers, belonging to the same Danish family recently arrived from L.A. were given a Down-Down. Returnees Up All Night and Charlotte gave some lame excuses why they had not been for a while and were Down-Downed. But I unfortunately forgot to D.D. Wandering Two-Lips for being an FRB. I am sure we can correct that the next time. As interim R.A., DIY conducted naming ceremonies for the Chief Snitch (Taupe-less), second snitch (Mega-Blaster) and Steve (Comes Quickly) while Trans-Hash Easy Virgin created all round confusion by translating the name Taupe-less. The circle broke up after DIY conducted his usual excellent leadership in the Hash Hymn "Sweet Chariot" (under 18 version). It was, all in all, a very enjoyable run. QuickSand Note from Hares N.B. Pursuant to investigation of photographic evidence, and cross-examination of witnesses, it has been established BEYOND DOUBT that markings for both the runner’s and walker’s routes had been sabotaged by person or persons unknown. Therefore, hares Do-It-Yourself and Scrubber are completely exonerated of all charges of ineptitude and incompetence, and that their names shall be fully cleared On-On Do It Yourself